My First Love

My real first love was William John Fadell. Oh, just saying his name makes my heart go pitter pat. We were hot items in the tenth grade. I knew Billy when he had braces. We were in confirmation classes together.

 It is funny looking back because my twin sister went on a date with him first that year. Even twins have different tastes in boys since she and Billy just did not have a spark. They went on one date and that was it.  Bill and I were different. Our first date is all we needed and that was that.

Billy and I had our first date at the local Soda Fountain which was quite popular during my high school years.  As shy as he was, he turned around in math class and got the nerve to tempt me with a challenge. He challenged me to a french fry eating contest at the Soda Fountain. "No problem I told him, but beware, as I love french fries and can out eat anyone."

The love story was one I will hold onto for the rest of my life. Bill and I wrote each other what we called "Love  Notes" almost daily that year. We spent most of our time together, jogging, watching our favorite movies together, camping, concerts, theatre, hanging out with friends at outdoor concerts and more.

Love as always has it's ups and downs and did with us. Mostly it was heaven, but as we got into our senior year Billy got into things I did not care for. He liked to smoke weed. I did not want that energy in my life since both my parents had been addicted to alcohol and it made for a tough child hood. At one point I told Billy that I could no longer date him.

After crying, filling up my fathers condo with roses and pleading with me that he would quit, we got back together and even dated somewhat into my college career. We had so much fun while I was up at college. He would come visit me at Stout University and take the greyhound bus. I went to college out of state and Billy was not yet ready to go.  I came home my first summer and could not wait to spend time with Billy. One night soon into the summer Billy and many of our friends went out to a concert. It was a great concert and lots of summer excitement except for the fact that one of his friends told me Billy never stopped smoking pot. I wondered at the concert why he did not want me in one section with him and his buddies.  I found him smoking right then and there. My heart dropped and so did my future outlook with my love.

The hardest thing I did was call it off. Yes, we had spent many nights talking about what it would be like to be married. That made it all the harder. Painful as it was to come home during college and run into him, I knew I did not want addiction back into my life.

I had met a man named Brian who treated me like a queen at first. He and I started dating became engaged and one year later married. Billy was never far from my heart. I had heard he saw the newspaper article on our engagement and was told he just sobbed for weeks. His friends which were my friends told me he was inconsolable.

One day as I worked at a pre- school program for special needs kids, I talked to my co worker incessantly about Billy, our love and how it ended. I had now been married almost one year. I wondered even to myself why I was talking on and on about Billy.

My phone rang when I walked in to my kitchen after work. I knew it my heart what the call was about.  I had a vision, a feeling, an intuition about Billy. I  knew in my heart that I was getting a call about his death. I hoped my intuition was steering me off course.  On the other end of the phone I heard " Laura, Billy died at the U.S. Open Golf Event." I hung up the phone and fell to the floor.

My sweet Billy was killed by lightening. No one else died that day. Many were hit by the lightening or felt it, but Billy lost his life. I lost an enormous part of me that day.