Trust is a big word since trust needs to be earned. I wish I would have learned that gem a bit earlier, but hey, old dogs do learn new tricks. Trust begins in the nursery. How safe and nurtured we feel as babies does impact our future in trust. My childhood had some great memories, but trust was not something I could count on by my parents.
I learned that because of my childhood, I am usually the one who can't commit because I didn't have a strong trust base. I really never thought I would marry because commitment was so hard for me. Well, who would of thunk it. I had a part of me because of my painful childhood that had my perception of all human kind as being too good. I know that sounds weird, but if you think about it, perhaps I really subconsciously did want love so bad, that I missed all the signs of the wrong person. In fact, maybe I wore Rose colored glasses. I ended up getting married and missed the red flags that were there from day one.
Here is the good part. I never lost sight of the fact that most of us are just plain awesome. I'm also not the naive girl I was back in the day when I met my ex husband. I have really come far. I think my past has really helped me see more realistically. I know that my childhood made me the loving, gifted person I am now. I definitely know it's why I am so grateful for everything I have.It is also why I am such a deep or depthy human being as my friends say. I thank God for all the wrong people in my life. I am glad life set me up to second guess trust. Now trust is easier for me. Show me love in action and I will take it. Burn me once, OK maybe twice and I will not put my energy into you.
I don't want to sound cheesy, but another part of my trust came in all of you here on these writing sites. I know we don't know each other personally, but in a way we know each other in some pretty important and sacred ways. I feel honored every day on line that I receive tips, support, that community feeling, and having you all share a part of you with me. Thanks to all of you. I think we all know how healing writing is. I have come so far now that I am writing, venting, using my creative abilities and finding such amazing, talented people here.
Sincerely, thanks for letting me be a part of your life.
Laura, this is a wonderful post! Thank you
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I feel the same way, like a piece of me is out there every time I post in my blog, and a door is open to the real me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for letting me be a part of your life :)
"in a way we know each other in some pretty important and sacred ways"
ReplyDeleteWriters, especially, have a hard time finding others who understand how we think and work. Most of us are a bit solitary to start with, and become more so when those we confide in (trust) think we're weird. I'm fortunate to belong to not one, but two, groups of writers in this small town. They are good, supportive friends, but only ONE of them normally reads in my genre. That's why it's so important that we form groups like this to support one another. In the world of the internet, we can find others who understand.
Claudia,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you liked it. I think we need to put into perspective how important our writing online friends can be.
Claudia,
ReplyDeleteTruly I am honored to be a part of your online life too. I am so glad you liked this.
Angela,
ReplyDeleteI could not agree with you more. We really do know some important facets of each other because we are not just reading it online but supporting each other. It really does feel like a big warm fuzzy hug when we all know what makes each other tick.
Laura, I can relate to this on so many levels. My childhood was not happy (for reasons I won't go into) and, looking back, I rushed into marriage almost as a way of escape. It didn't last, but once it ended I became stronger, more independent and, most importantly, more confident about myself. I learnt to recognise my strengths and weaknesses, and eventually to trust myself.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it just wonderful to have a community of like minded people you can turn to? I so agree with you, Laura. And I love, love, love your comment about being grateful for all the wrong people in your life. I have learned so much from the "bad" people who've crossed paths with me over the years. I invite you to check out a post that I wrote about six weeks ago on that very topic. http://community.beliefnet.com/daphalaugh/blog/2011/07/08/a_full_degree_below_normal:_thank_you_for_firing_me
ReplyDeleteAn insightful, well-written post. Nice job and keep up the good work.
I think writers and bloggers know each other better than family members sometimes (unless they read the blog). We often share extremely intimate parts of our lives when we write.
ReplyDeleteThis was just wonderful. And I am grateful, too, for the love and friendship I have found within the group and with my other online friends. I think we grow close quickly because unlike in real life, we meet each other and immediately share our hopes, dreams, bits of our past, and pieces of our hearts. I'm so glad that you're writing with the GBE--you add so much to the group. ♥
ReplyDeleteOther bloggers and writers will thank you for your contribution to the blogesphere. Great post. Just what will I write about this week i wonder?
ReplyDeletepeter
We are a family - a family brought together with like mindedness, which often is more heartfelt than birthright. Thank you for such a nice post.
ReplyDeleteLaura; This is a beautiful post. I have not been making time to read the blogs of the friends I've connected with online and you have made me realize it's time I was making time. The connections we make online can be just as real the physical connections we make and sometimes even more revealing. Easier to bare our souls to people who aren't looking at us when we do it.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for this insightful post and for reminding me that I need to connect a lot more often,especially with a "Depthy" person. Love the word.
I am also honored to be a part of the GBE2 family. Sharing our lives in print and even in fiction seeing parts of us or those in our lives staring back from the page is what writers do and I think only writers understand how that just has to happen. It keeps us somewhat sane.
ReplyDeleteReally loved this post.
I wasn't the one to 'coin' this but back on myspace--someone there said something like, we may never see each other physically--but we've gotten to know each other on a soul or conscious level--we all spill our inner most thoughts and then get to know each other on the inside--and if we ever meet each other--the outside won't matter.
ReplyDeleteI Love the idea of getting to know someone so intimately on that sacred level--so you put it. You know a good soul when you find one and latch on to them as friends. Happy to call you Friend Laura :) Cheers, Jenn
i definitely like the sense of community that you get from the GBE2 group. :)
ReplyDeleteJo
ReplyDeleteYour right, there is such a kinship with writers. We all do this writing because we love it and it does keep us sane.
Peter,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you liked this post. I agree that our connections online can be even more revealing than our friends in real life because we Bare it all out there. Glad to be online with you. I hope I am following you. I will check.
The first year is indeed important. I'm sorry your parents didn't instill that trust.
ReplyDeleteJoyce
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com
What a lovely post!! I am with you! I am so happy to be part of this supportive wonderful group, able to get to know each other through our writing.
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://www.thetruckerswife.com/
This is a wonderful post. I love being a part of this group, it sure is therapeutic for me.
ReplyDeleteLangley
ReplyDeleteYes the support here is marvelous. I can't believe how truly amazing Most are on these sites. thanks for popping by
Kathy
ReplyDeleteIt has been so fun to get to know you. Your such a funny lady. I love your great attitude....
Joyce
ReplyDeleteI really had to invent myself back in the days after my painful childhood. I am so happy.