Instinct

In one of my online writing groups GBE2, we were asked to write about instinct. One experience immediately  entered my mind. Please sit back and know that this story is one you may want to share with your children if they are going off to college.

In the 1980's,  I was attending the University of Wisconsin- Stout studying psychology. I was surrounded by so many good friends, getting good grades and living with my best friend and twin sister, Linda. One particular Friday night, I was going out with a group of gals to hear one of my favorite bands.  Linda couldn't  join us since she had plans to see a movie with her boy friend Joel.  My good friend Patty had some friends I hadn't met, but I was going to hang out with them at a tavern called the Marion.  We were excited to hear one of the most popular musical bands of the time.

I'll never forget how much I enjoyed listening to the live music of Night Ranger. Patty and I were in heaven as we swayed back and forth to the great tunes. Could it get any better?  " Sister Christian", our favorite song was sung and the crowd went wild.  This was such a great night. I had been introduced to all of Patty's buddies and they seemed really nice.

The band had ended and I was ready to go home. It was a busy week of tests and I had to rise early the next morning to meet up with a study group.  Patty and I had made plans that she would drive me home after the last song played.   She leaned over to me and whispered " Sorry Laura, I want to stay till bar time and head home with my boyfriend."  I asked her if she could just drop me off first like we had planned and unfortunately she answered "NO."

Patty must have felt guilty for leaving me in the lurch and found someone to take me home. Her friend's buddy Leo, said he was ready to get going too and had no problem dropping me off.   He seemed nice enough, but I had only just met him.  Instinct told me I really shouldn't go with him, but I shrugged it off.

Leo and I walked out into the dark Wisconsin night and jumped into his black Chevy truck. It was a beautiful September night and the stars were shining bright as if they were there to watch me.  I gave Leo directions to my off campus apartment.  Confused, I asked him why he was going in the opposite direction.  "Oh, I just want to take you back to my apartment for a night cap."  "As great as that sounds, I really do have to get home. " Like I said, I meet with a study group early in the morning and I am really tired."

I was starting to feel panic creep in as he ignored my requests to bring me home.  He continued to drive in the direction of his house. His entire demeanor changed as did his voice.  In a stern tone he said,  "Quit  being such a party pooper and come in for a few minutes."  I felt angry and scared and couldn't believe he was trying to make me feel guilty. This felt surreal, this predicament I was in.  I just wanted to be home safely tucked under my covers.

 My mind was reeling in fear as we walked into his house. I knew what I had to do to get me out of this situation somewhat unscathed.  Leo asked me if I wanted a drink. "No thanks, I'm tired and just want to go home to bed.  He began spewing demeaning, offensive and disgusting words, I was terrified.  He pushed me down on his brown haggard sofa. Leo was a college football player and  built like a brick shit house.  I knew  I couldn't compete with him physically, but maybe I could on a psychological level. He threw his large body on top of me and forced his tongue into my mouth. I remember him putting his hands all over my breasts.  I knew I was in trouble. "I don't even know you, what are you doing?"  I could feel his anger rise by the way he was talking and holding me down. His eyes seemed to disappear under the angry scowl on his face.  I knew I had to use every piece of Psychology I had learned.  I just wanted to be home in my cozy apartment with my twin.  How I wish I could just fly away and be there.

 I was feeling hopeful and more confident as instinct just took over. I felt a rush of energy course through my body and was ready to put on the best acting performance of my life.  This moment seemed to last a lifetime. Before I could do anything he thrust his large penis into my mouth and told me if I didn't perform fellatio, I would be sorry.  I felt so afraid, so disgusted, so angry.   After finishing this repulsive chore, I went into "acting mode."  Calmly, I gave Leo one of my best smiles and said, "I'll take that drink now."  I cheerfully asked him to mix me a  Bacardi diet.   "Laura, I am so glad you want to stay longer."  My body was shivering uncontrollably as he left to the kitchen to pour me that drink.

As he was mixing my cocktail in the kitchen, I made a run for it.  I was running so fast, I tripped over my own feet in a panic. " I have to make it to the pay phone outside of the Student Union to call Linda".  I made it to the phone and called Linda in hysterics. In between my sobbing and screaming, I was able to ask Linda for help.  My twin sister Linda has always been my rock and she told me to try to stay calm.   "Laura, stay put and hide till I get there.  I'll  honk three times so you know It's  me and safe to run to the car."  Trying to talk in between my shrills, I promised her I would.  "Please hurry Linda, I see head lights coming toward me."  It felt like an eternity. I felt so vulnerable and drained emotionally.  My body was shaking uncontrollably and I could hardly breathe.

I hid behind a large thick bush and prayed to God this monster wouldn't find me.  I finally heard  three honks. I ran out to the car and just  fell weeping into my sisters' loving arms.

That Night I learned a great lesson.  Always trust your instincts.