Ewwwww, that ugly word called "Confrontation." My take on this word is quite different now that I have lived and endured. Years ago when my dad went into treatment, confrontation was the way they dealt with addicts. I know why I went into the mental health field. I wanted to fix what was sorely broken.
I was only a kid, probably fifth grade, when my dad went in the first time. Each of us children had to "Confront the Addict." They almost made me hate my dad who I loved dearly. We healed the pain after some years but wow! I learned first hand how people in the mental health field can really "F" up.
One time, the leader in the small group told my twin and I to confront this older guy, because he could tell he was making us feel uncomfortable and frustrated. Well, I learned a lesson that day. "If you confront, you may end up hurt." It still pisses me off to this day that they knew so little and put us in that dangerous situation. The guy that we confronted, stood up from his chair and came over to us swinging. We had to run out of the room! What? why would I be afraid to confront?
It's kind of eery because I look at the incident that day in the treatment center and feel like an omen occurred. See, the man I ended up confronting, treated his wife like crap. He was extremely verbally abusive and it made my skin crawl. I told him so- I mean, talk about out of the mouths of babes. I ended up marrying someone that did this to me. He treated me and my kids like crap. I'm actually putting it lightly. He was an abusive monster!
Well, one fateful and life changing day, confrontation became my friend. Once the sun of a "B" started doing the severe mind control numbers on my kids, like he had done to me for years, that's when the light went off. Don't "F" with a mamma's cubs lest you want to face me head on into Mama Territory. Roar! My days of hiding this shitty existence was NO MORE. I no longer cared about keeping "the secret."
Needless to say, I got out of the hellish relationship with the gift of my wonderful kids in toe. I was reborn in a sense that no one was gonna "F" with me anymore. I found the power within me from the help of my faith, friends and family. I don't usually talk like this but I have to keep it real. I remember the day I stood up to him not knowing what he would do to me. I said, looking him straight in the eye- "Your a slimy "F" and I am serving you papers." I said this as I threw my hands into the air. In an empowered cheer, I screamed, "yes", no more violence." I know it may sound simple to you, but it was a huge mile-stone in my healing journey. From that day forward, I had no more fear. In fact, I feel sad for him and his sorry existence. I will deal with his shenanigans for the rest of my life because of our beautiful children. The difference with our interactions now is that he knows he can no longer scare me.
He just lost one more amazing woman in his life because of the same horrid cycle of abuse. God help the women who cross his path. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing.