I am on top of the world

Let me share with you a keynote speech I gave back in 2000 and a symbol that came to me in a dream. I was to present as a keynote speaker, on family and family values for a alternative high school. I was in an abusive marriage when I had this dream. I look now on how prophetic this symbol was and I believe it was  given to me as a healing gift. At the time, I didn't really know what it meant. In the dream, I was sitting underneath a glass table and there were rats all around me.  By the end of the dream, I was sitting on top of the table and I could see the rats under me. Well, now in real life, I am standing on top of the table and shouting out for joy and the rat is gone.  It is all so crystal clear. I am on top of the world.

The Whisper That Became a Roar


My life with you was stagnant and sad
Seeing your anger, most everything made you mad


The evil energy in the house one could cut with a knife
Living with you was oppressive, devoid of any light


I tried to hide it from the children but to no avail, 
They witnessed your violence and watched your spit sail


You held them captive so I would go mad,
You coward, somehow you rationalized it would not make our kids sad


Your yelling was penetrating, we thought it would never end
Through the roof, our nerves you would send


Your words so confusing, I got dizzy and felt like I was in hell
You would follow me through the house, I finally fell.


The letter of our demise shown to our kids, 
I only found it accidentally and hid


You were planning at Christmas to blow us away
Our daughter only three then, told me in dismay


Mom, why does daddy say we'll die on Christmas and then all come back?
I slept in their rooms for weeks on my back


I tried ever so hard to act calm for you 
When your older you'll understand why mom felt so blue


Once the judge ordered him out it got worse
He would creep up behind me and suddenly lurch


Why are you afraid, he would say with a grin
You have fear issues and why are you so paranoid and lift up my chin


He would trance-like hypnotize the kids and put them on the table
His eyes would glass over, and to move, they were not able

Till I told him I would film him and show a judge for to see 
He'd say I had skeletons in the closet and the judge would take them from me


I acted calm as if I were not afraid of the one thing I could not lose
My beautiful children, the best thing I have ever done
My treasured daughter and my son


I can't believe I used to love this monster, who was he?
The judge moved him out of the house, but we had paid a grand fee


Remember when you'd follow me on the steps by our room, you would pronounce to me I had chest pain, that I was having a heart attack, God I have to leave
You kept coming at me till I had to run out of the house just to breath


My God I believed you, you scared the life out of me
I could not talk nor think straight, my legs felt like they would fall from underneath like spaghetti


You used to seem so beautiful, not ugly and even your face 
My therapist claimed, this is the worst classic case


I am not bitter I am free, I am so happy, my life is for my kids now, not me


You taught me a lot, what to look out for, my once soft whisper, has now become a roar


A wolf in sheeps clothing, but now I have my life back
God has healed us, our lives are on track


Freedom oh sweet freedom, I do so love you, thanks to all those that helped me through this, you were my strength and my glue


I have my life back , I thank you for loving me, life is a gift, peace is now what we see


Thank you God for letting me have the courage to leave the strife, not much can bother me now, I feel so gratefu, the world is our oyster, We have a new life


You taught me a lot, what to look out for;

My once soft whisper is Forever a Loud Roar


WeeeeHeeeee