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Sunday, September 25, 2011

GBE2- Judgement

I am fascinated by values. Values we all hold dear to us. If we were to prioritize our top three values what would yours be? Do you hold these values but not live them? Try to sit down with pen and paper. Write down your top three values in your life. Do your values show up in your real life?
How long will it take you? For some of us, we can jot it down quickly, but some of us are very frustrated by this exercise. Ask your self why it was easy or hard. That is where I want your heart right now.
Why is it important to look at our values?
Let me give an example here of values and what we think of others or how we judge.
Lets say your in line at a grocery store. It is an upper end grocery store. You see in front of you a woman with a child, a small child. This woman is dressed in very fine clothes. The child is dressed very nice. The woman puts her food down on the grocery counter. You notice she has nice steaks, lobster, fruits, vegetables, and candy and donuts. She looks up at the cashier and pays him with food stamps.
I am asking you to be very honest with yourself here. First of all, was it hard to write down three of your most top values? Perhaps it was easy for you. Why?
Let us be brutally honest with ourselves. How do we judge or put value judgements on this woman at the grocery counter? Maybe you thought it was good that she had some quality food such as steak and lobster, or you felt pangs of envy that she could afford them, or you judged her for buying such food.
What did you think or value on the clothes she and the child wore as you noticed they were on welfare? This is where I want your mind to go. What do you really think of this scenario.
I put on a training this past weekend for our new clinical interns that will be working with our homeless families. I had these students really dig deep into their hearts to find out how they put values or judgements on others. I showed these students pictures of certain people and had them rate them on how they looked. I had one picture of a woman and a baby dressed in their Sunday best and sitting on a bench. I told the students that this woman was a homeless woman who lived on the streets.
It is important that we look at how we perceive others. We may be assuming they are something that they are not. Lets us not judge others by what they wear, how they look, perhaps you would feel different if you knew their story.
I showed another picture of a man in jeans in my power point. Most of the members rated him low. I told all of them that this man was a billionaire and very generous with his money. He had a generous heart. Does it matter if he has a lot of money. How do you value money. Perhaps it is the human heart you value. I encourage you to critically think about this question.
I hope this hub can help you look at your self and the people who you deal with in your life and ask yourself if your judging a book by its cover. "To err is human" But to look within is Wise"
© Laura Rogers Rogers


  1. Anonymous25/9/11 21:52

    I'm copying and pasting my comment from the other place:

    Excellent, thought-provoking post. I know my top three values: 1) Honor the voice within, which I see as God. 2) Honesty. I will tell the truth. Period. 3) Family (which for me, encompasses more than those with DNA connections)--I care for and am loyal to those I love.

    As far as the judging--I didn't make any assumptions when you described the lady, her child, and her food choices, but I definitely did when you said she paid for her items with food stamps. I immediately thought that if she genuinely needed food stamps (which I'm fine with--the fact that they have nice clothes does not for a second mean that they have not recently come on hard times), she needs to be responsible in making those food dollars stretch, and the items that she took from her cart do not, in my view, represent those that someone who is on a tight budget would select. So yep, I definitely made assumptions without knowing more.

  2. Word Nerd,
    I love your honesty on judgement. I think to be human is to judge, it's just being aware of it and trying hard not to since we don't know the whole story.

  3. What an amazing post Laura, a lot of food for thought! My values? Honesty, respect, loyalty, equaty, flexibility ... the list can continue. Thank you for this post!

  4. Amazing post on judgment! It is so easy to make assumptions when we see things, and judgments. I think it is a part of human nature, and hard to avoid. If I had seen the lady buying steak on food stamps, I would have probably thought...geez, I need to try to get foodstamps so I can have steak too. LOL I would have also been mentally calculating in my head just how much more she could have got if she had picked something else. On the other hand I probably would have thought that maybe she was preparing for a special occasion, and maybe buying steak was a treat. Even if you are poor and on food stamps, you deserve to have a treat every now and then.