Gas Lighting Awareness

As a therapist, life coach and spiritual healer; it is beyond frightful the gas lighting going on in our White House and our world. It brings up  horrifying memories for me as I compare my old life with whatis happening in our white house and in our nation.  It is very concerning if you look at the circle of people in the lives of the president and the myriad of  lies they just believe, that fall out of his mouth. It is not that hard to be brain washed, in fact, if you read on Stockholm syndrome, it will give you a great look into the nature of this disorder. Gas lighting is a form of psychological abuse whereby the perpetrator tries to gain control by making others believe things that are not true.  The perpetrator manipulates the person or members of a group by using their secrets and/ or laying down seeds of doubt so they not only questions their sanity, but feel aligned to the perpetrator.  Gas Lighters are like vampires, sucking out reality by repeatedly saying the same things over and over and making us believe we are "The insane Ones".  I should know, I am pretty much an expert since I was married to a gas lighter. The long term effects of the abusive nature of this narcissistic, venomous personality is hard to define at first, but when educated on this everything makes sense. Hint, there is life after being gas lighted.

I was deeply scarred by the abusive nature of my gas lighter. Even after all these years, 19  years divorced and 21 years since I served him divorce papers, I am embarrassed to admit it took me so long to understand what "it Was."How could this happen to me, I am in the mental health field?

I tell groups of women and men in my training's of family violence and abuse and what we can do about it, that I will never forget the day I was able to "NAME IT AS ABUSE."

It took a lot of love and support to get me there, but I finally saw the Real person behind my 13 year marriage and the father of my two beloved children.

What I teach women and men in these sessions is how to look for these characteristics:

1. Is the person trying to isolate you? My ex used to keep me away from my twin sister and father as often as possible because he knew they loved and supported me. He could not brain wash me if I was my normal social self around the people I love.
2. Does this person name call and degrade you? A great example of this is when my ex and I were going to get a family picture taken. He stated matter of factly, lets wait till you lose weight to take this family picture. The sad thing is, I look back and I was so beautiful. It does not matter fat or thin, how f' ing horrid to say something like this to your wife who made vows with. (it worked, he made me feel ugly)
3. Is it always someone else's fault. Anyone in this persons life is demeaned. They go out of their way to make sure you know, it is never his/her fault, but everyone else around him/her.
4. Is this person possessive and wants to have you all to him/her self. Be careful, especially in the day of cell phones and social media. 10 calls within five minutes is absolutely glaring.
5. Do they tell Your stories for you to others and the stories are not what really happened? This happened frequently in my marriage with the gas lighter, and it got worse over time.
6. Red Flags! Sooo many red flags and I know I saw them and turned a blind eye. He hit me in the face before going into a dinner event with his family because I disagreed with him. Yep, that's all it took. Disagree with a narcissist, and you pay for it.
7. The power over you with $. I had to ask him for money. Ugh, how degrading. Not at all a partnership, I had to ask for $ even for groceries to feed our kids.I would get degraded when buying anything for me like bath bubbles.
8. I was F'in invisible to him. He sure wined and dined me when we met, then oh boy, the ride was over and I was a burden in every aspect of the word. Life was as I called it and my domestic abuse group called it, the Friday Night Horror show, but the bummer, it was my life.
9. Mind Control or f'ing- I look back now and shutter because most of my precious time he was using verbal and psychological abuse by telling me things, like, I did not say that or I did not hit you or insane things that to you and me are right in front of us. I mean, how could he actually say, he did not hit me, yet here I am at a DQ after he hit me and I stated don't ever hit me again. He made me pull up to a DQ window and order cones for my children as tears flowed down my cheeks with him in the passenger seat saying "Laura, calm down, I did not hit you and this is not good for the kids."


Cycle of Abuse