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My Stoop

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Monday, January 16, 2012

I Got Punked By My Teenagers

Walk with me as I take you through my most interesting day. Ah, a day of rest for me from work because of the special holiday so named, Martin Luther King Day. My kids and I have as our goal, to run a variety of errands. Goal in mind and holiday gift cards in hand, we go store hopping.

First stop, Kohl's, where I (mother, mom, mum, child automaton, servant to all my children's needs....) need to exchange holiday coats that my kids hated. Yes, you heard me, hated!! We did have a good laugh in the store though. My son J said, "mom, next year I will give you a list like you asked me for. Most everything you bought me I didn't like." Still holding my ego intact I laugh, ha. My daughter E also says she must concur. Still feeling my confidence strong, I battle with the customer service representative who does not want me to take the in store card that I received from exchanging the coat for J and using it on the AppleBees gift cards that hang on their wall.  "I would like to speak to your manager. I think it is just ridiculous that I can't take this card  from Kohl's and use it on a gift card that you have right here in your store."  OK, so I didn't get the gift cards I wanted, so I, the bigger person walk away with dignity still mighty.

As I pull into the Target/Barnes and Noble parking lot, my kids both shriek. "Mom, why are we here, we don't want to be here?"  I let them know in no uncertain terms, that I want to be here and I am just as important as they are. In fact, I am here to spend money from my Barnes and Noble gift card that I received as a Christmas present. I shrug my shoulders and tell them to stay in toe.

My darling teens watched me as I roamed the store in hopes of finding some special treasure. I must admit I kept finding ways I could spend my gift card on them. "Oh No mom, we want you to spend the card on you. It is not often you buy for your self.  " Hmmmmmmm...... "There is something so wrong with this affirmation. But I must..... I must believe in them for they are my children that come from my loins."

My daughter decides she needs a fruit smoothie. "Oh, do you have money honey?"  "No mom, but I know you have your card and you can use it at the Star Bucks here. " Laughing, I go to the counter and purchase a hot mocha for myself and a fruit smoothie for her. We both start drinking our beverages and to my chagrin, I hear a loud ewwwww.  "What's wrong sweetie, what did you make that noise for?"  "Mom, this drink is terrible, it's so bad. I hate it."  Wow, this hate word is pretty popular today. I just do what mom's do. I go to the counter with her drink and let the young cashier know she does not like it. "Can you just switch it to a hot cocoa for her."  "Oh sure, no problem. It will be up in just a few moments."  I thank the young lad and glance at my daughter who is rolling her eyes at me. "Mom, I am so embarrassed. Why did you do that? Now he thinks I don't like it." As we walk out of the store I go through a check list. Hot mocha: Check,  Purse: Check, Gift card: Check, Self Confidence: Check, Still love my kids: Check.

Whew, we made it, now to their dad's place of work where we can ask for office products my kids need that we could not find at any of the several stores we frequented earlier. Oh, how organized my wee ones can be. Before we step foot into their father's place of work, my daughter screams, " Mom, did you see it?  Look at your cup."  "Did I see what my dear?" "Mom, there is a note on your Star Bucks Cup."  I think to myself, "So many drama's, so little time." "Sweet child, what is it your trying to tell me?"

Grabbing my hot mocha cup, I see it for myself. Plain as the large nose on my face, I see it. There on my cup reads: CALL ME. Then I see a heart or lips, not real sure which it was. Then, a cell phone number. My kids look at me for a reaction. I ask what is it? I don't get it? "Mom, you were just asked out on a Star Bucks Cup. A bewildered mom, yes, it took me waaaaay too long to understand what the kids were telling me. "Kids, that young male cashier was not much older than 20. " Mom, are you going to call him?" Now, finally understanding the crux of this matter, I say " Creepy, why would a young man that age put his number on my cup?  We are all laughing now. Laughing, snorting, reeling from this funny drama. I am so perplexed.  Such a proud moment for a single mother who just turned 49 just days ago. Yes, I can relish in the thought that my kids know I am still attractive to the other sex. Great fun way to bond with my kids. We don't often laugh this hard with each other. As a psychotherapist, I am thinking how connecting  this is, even if it is a silly scenario. See kids, mom is not dead. Mom is a real person. Men love me. Yes, men love me.

We pull into the driveway still laughing and going through each and every nuance of this scenario. My daughter runs in the door to share this funny trivia with my twin sister.  Guess What ................


Oh well, a girl can dream can't she?  Ugh............


  1. LOLOL!! You're kids got you good!! Well...the little lovies may just find Mom finding a way to have fun herself--eh? You know--a little bit of loving payback or something? *snickers*

    Enjoyed reading!! Cheers, Jenn

  2. Hahaha!! I love it. Sounds like a great day. It's good to laugh with the brats. :o)

  3. One great punk deserves another...
    Can't wait to read about the payback.
    How fun our children can be, eh?

  4. Anonymous17/1/12 16:50

    Teenagers. We keep them around for the entertainment value. Now it's your turn. Be devious!

  5. How funny. I'm going to try that on my older kids. That'd be interesting.

  6. Jenn,
    Help me think of something I can do to them. Ahem

  7. Gene Pool Diva
    You bet it's my turn. Any ideas????

  8. Melissa
    Yes, it is fun to giggle with the rugrats. Ha

  9. Jo
    I thoroughly agree with you. One punk does deserve another. I am taking in ideas. Please feel free.........

  10. Still chuckling here. That was brilliant... and I reckon you still love 'em *wink* As to the use of the word 'hate'... Let's just say I've added that one to my pet peeve list. Ninety-nine point nine recurring times they don't hate, they dislike at best... Oh just don't get me started *grin* Great post, Laura.

  11. Darlene
    Ha Brilliant huh? thanks

  12. Mojo Writing
    I do still love them My dad used to tell us kids that we could not say hate but dislike intensely. Ha