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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Do twins have a secret language?


My life as a multiple has been packed with excitement, to say the least.  I am an identical twin and can't imagine life as a singleton. I do not know anything different.  My twin sister and I get a kick out of the reactions people have with twins.  I could go on and on with silly stories here. Our famous line at night after a full day is " Oh, do I have a story for you."

A factoid is that my twin sister and I live together at this stage of our lives. We are both raising my two children. It is great fun.  Just tonight, a funny twin story ensued, let me explain. My sister and I dropped off my son at baseball.  I dropped my sister off at a local restaurant so she could eat and listen to live jazz.  My sister is a blogger and brought her computer with her.  She has a blog called " Twincess Diaries."   There was a couple dining there that approached my sister.  The woman said " Oh, hi, how are you?  Now, know that this scenario has happened to both of us so many times in our lives, I just can't count. My sister said,  "I am sorry, I don't know you."  The lady said, Oh it's xxxx.   My sister said " no, I really don't know you.  I am an identical twin."  The woman laughed and rebutted that she thought that was so funny.  The story ends like most, where the person looks just a bit closer and knows it to be true.

Can you imagine the outlook we have as  twin sister's, with  fun and Tom Foolery?  Life has been full of hilarious stories and episodes. Thank goodness we are extroverts with a great sense of humour because we are literally, always on stage.

Tonight, I was watching the news and caught a twin story. Perhaps you saw it on you tube. It was twin boys in diapers, talking gibberish to each other, in their kitchen.  The twins have this fantastic dialogue with no words.  They are using their hands and feet to talk.  They go back and forth between them, using words not in our English language, but seem to understand perfectly,  what the other twin is trying to say.  It is a priceless video.  It is a must see. This story reminded my sister and I tonight of a story our mother used to share with us.

It is humorous to my sister and I to watch those on the television trying to psychologize these twins and discuss whether twins have a language of their own.  Let me tell you here and now, of course they have a language of their own.  My sister and I did too. My first story recounts my mother telling us how we would have lengthy discussions as toddlers which she could not depict. Our mother had respect for the unique twin connection, and just stood back in awe, witnessing the "twin language."

We remember being separated in kindergarten. They not only put us in separate classes, but also brought us to a funny room.  We now know as adults, we were taken to a speech therapist weekly.  They obviously wanted to mainstream our language skills so that we could relate to other kids. It took several months, but eventually, we dropped the twin language and integrated  with the rest of the children. I know we don't talk this gibberish anymore, but we have a keen sense of intuition with each other that goes quite deep.  

I can only imagine the perspective my twin sister and I are molding for my teen boy and girl.  They do have great fun watching our twin shenanigans. We all laugh a lot together.  "We laugh alike, we talk alike, what a crazy pair."  Sorry, I couldn't resist the temptation.

In conclusion, I want all those out there wondering about twins, to know this.  Twins do talk over one another. Twins do move alike.  We talk sentences for each other often and at times it is very embarrassing.  People that witness this, take a step back and just gasp.

I would never trade my  life as a twin, if I was given the chance.  Being a twin is a blessing.  Some twins compete with each other.  My twin sister and I have never competed with one another. We have always supported each other in every way. Please check out my sisters blog to learn more about twins.  http://www.twincessone.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Tiger Blood & Charlie Sheen

I am quite amazed at the stir Charlie Sheen and his antics have caused all around the world.  He  has sure gotten a powerful platform for being sick.  I feel sad for Charlie Sheen because he is so desperate and lost.  We can all have our laughs about the chaos he is creating on social media, TV interviews and the like, but lets take one step back.

Charlie Sheen is in the middle of a mental health crisis.  He is in dire need of treatment for dual diagnosis.  I am a psychotherapist by trade and believe, like so many other professionals that Charlie Sheens' mental state is no laughing matter.  He is showing many symptoms of bi- polar disorder and he needs medication.  Here are some observable symptoms that Charlie is displaying:  Narcissism, pressured speech, grandiosity, and risk- taking behavior.

 Lets help educate others to understand mental illness instead of getting hooked into the drama of the behavior that he is presenting.  Let us be human, caring and realize this man is in need of professional help.  No one can make anyone change, go into rehab or stop the negative cycle but Charlie. Perhaps we can all learn from this hollywood star, and help fight the cause of mental illness and addiction.

Let us all take a stand together right now.  Let's face the fact that Charlie Sheen is in need of care, support and for us to stop the madness by keeping the flame firing.  Let us stop the gossip.  This is a human being who is lost right now and needs to find his way.  None of us can ever know what it is like to be in his shoes.  How would we feel living in a fish bowl?  I know in no uncertain terms that I would not invite that into my life.

Lets show our compassion and quit exacerbating the already volitle state of mind this hollywood star is in.  Lets back off and rise up in our humanity.

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom." Charles Dickens

Monday, March 7, 2011

Part 2: Mourning My Jeep & Moving On

I felt sad having to say good by to my Jeep Cherokee.  My Jeep had been like a friend to me. It went through so many transitions with my family. I went from a married to divorced and single mom with this car. Lots of emotions  as I talk about letting go of my divine love. My car I named divine love since it had a license plate DVL for many years.
  I went looking for a used car.  I researched cars, incentive programs, makes of cars, and many many dealerships. Well, of course their were highly unprofessional sales people and great professional sales people. I will start with my bad experience at Toyota. I had brought a co-worker in with me to look at family vans. He and I were just co-workers.  I was the one asking questions when we went in looking. This sales person never gave me any eye contact. He was so rude and sexist.  He talked to my co-worker and made a very wrong assumption, that he was the one in charge of buying this car. It was as if he could not hear my friend say you need to ask her. The salesman never did ask me.  He just kept shooting questions at my co-worker.  I definitely had remarks I had to make before I left.  I am a powerful single mom, something I could not have said about myself 8 years ago. I took my power back after being in an incredibly abusive marriage. Mostly psychological, emotional and verbal.  I won't go into that story, but suffice to say, NO ONE CAN TALK DOWN TO ME AND TREAT ME LIKE A IGNORANT HUMAN BEING WITHOUT A FIGHT. I matter of fact, told the salesman that I would never again buy a car from that dealership and was going straight to the Kia buy happy car program at Morries. I was very clear about my reasons why I was leaving.  He seemed totally shocked by my claims. I did not care take this very narcissistic man.  I just left not looking back.
I headed straight to the Kia dealership where family friends referred me. I met a wonderful sales person who treated me the way I would want to be treated. I brought my family to the dealership the second time and had them look at the Kia Sedona.  I must say, they looked very comfortable in that car. I was also happy that I was approved for the loan and now own a midnight black colored Kia family van. I had never even thought one moment about purchasing  a new car, but with the new car program at Kia, I could not pass it up.

Now comes the part of the story where I introduced my Jeep to my new Kia.  These two family cars hit it off right away. My jeep told Kia of all the lovely excursions it had led us on.  It also told the new car the places it should take us. My family and I then waved good by to our old friend and blessed him for all he had done for us. We sent the Jeep with blessings and knew his parts would help some other family.  We told him we would never forget him.

Mourning the death of my Jeep

It is hard to say good by to a friend that has been through so much with my family and I. It was a tough week in that my 1997 Jeep Cherokee had stalled twice.  I ended up having to rent a car for one week. It was expensive, but the BP station  that took it in to have it repaired thought they had it figured out. I was excited since I got my car back. Well, it stalled again and I was with out a car once more.


  I got the call as I sat at my desk at work. " Laura, pick up line one, it is an emergency."  My sister was on the other end of the phone.  She knew this would be tough for me, so she asked if I was sitting down.  I said " Linda, just get to the point, what is going on?"  I was told that my Jeep Cherokee was going to car heaven. I loved that car and felt like I was saying good by to a good loyal friend. I know it is just a car, but this car had been with my kids since they were three and four years old. I had been through a marriage and divorce in that car. I had been a single mom, traveled to our old cabin each year in this car. I felt so sad, I just sat at my desk and sobbed.  I know it is just a car, but this car and I had energy between us.  It knew just when to be done. One week earlier, I was in a very dangerous part of town and the temperature was -20.  Each time my car stalled on me, I was close to a place where I could call for help.  I also had no cell phone this week so it was even more amazing.

I love my Jeep Cherokee. My car license plate read DVL for many years.  I named it divine love.  I send you with blessings onto your new adventure where you will help others that need parts for their car to take them to safety. My family loved you Divine Love.  We will never forget you.